You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
