So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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