YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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