Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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