I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
