So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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