i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
as a side note pls kill me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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