I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
