You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
