oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
