FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
