i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that