my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.