Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.

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(508): For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/clti

Replies (6) Good night (1429) Bad night (721)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

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(270): i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high. http://tfl.nu/s9x7

Replies (25) Good night (1421) Bad night (2242)
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(316): View more from Kansas

i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

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(316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9

Replies (25) Good night (5555) Bad night (1686)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.

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(360): I'll bring the barf blanket just in case. http://tfl.nu/d0c2

Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (2477)
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(419): View more from Ohio

The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it

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(419): The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it http://tfl.nu/cai3

Replies (9) Good night (2055) Bad night (944)
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(907): View more from Alaska

marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it

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(907): marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it http://tfl.nu/qmr1

Replies (2) Good night (1366) Bad night (491)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.

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(910): I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers. http://tfl.nu/lhcq

Replies (7) Good night (1769) Bad night (1828)
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(708): View more from Illinois

just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..

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(708): just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car.. http://tfl.nu/c49r

Replies (12) Good night (2044) Bad night (1295)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

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(505): I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles. http://tfl.nu/rqwc

Replies (4) Good night (1398) Bad night (840)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I pray for you bro.

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(609): I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place. (215): I pray for you bro. http://tfl.nu/qs2m

Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (681)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover

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(608): In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover http://tfl.nu/mvwr

Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (413)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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(901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1

Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (275)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies

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(413): This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies http://tfl.nu/p3t8

Replies (0) Good night (756) Bad night (285)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day

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(304): I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day http://tfl.nu/acew

Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (634)
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(904): View more from Florida

It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk

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(904): It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk http://tfl.nu/beqp

Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (182)

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