I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades