where am i from again
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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