absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
how does that bad decision feel?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize