u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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