What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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