Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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