just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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