you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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