Whod you bang
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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