I heard we made out
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
