scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
