Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
