You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
