There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
