i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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