Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
