U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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