Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize