Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Drunk is not a location!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
