My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
