Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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