do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
