nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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