do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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