Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
