He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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