Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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