I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
