Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
