I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Vodka?
Forever.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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