i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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