my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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