when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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