she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
