Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize