Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
