is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
