i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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