I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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