Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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