one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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