we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize