News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
