It's Friday. Sex?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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