Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Randomize
