Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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