i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
