I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
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i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize