Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
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I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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