did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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